cs_assault attack-Return of the unskilled

[byteridr]

I have made some subtitles in English for this funny german movie:
youtube.com/watch?v=NjvumoBfsD8


GANG BANG
[cs_assault only]
[CD is duty]
[****s stay away!]
(Terrorists win)
(locked mode)
Pro: Oh brilliant ****s.
Pay attention. I'll now explain you the game.
We are the cts and we we have to rescue the hostages.
The hostages they are...
[****3 CD is missing]
Pro: That was clear.
Guys pay attention. Very simple. There behind is a big building.
There we have to get in the first floor (over the ground floor). There are the hostages. We get them out.
Did you all understood this?
[the others are nodding]
Good then buy and follow me.
Are you ready now?
[nodding]
Can we start then now?
[nodding]
Fine.
Let's go.
(slow music)
Say would take the knife please?
Oh dude
(shooting sound)
So guys.
That's the back entrance.
At my command we'll rush through the door.
All clear?
****1: Yes

****2: "OK- backside rush"
Pro: Say don't you have "voice" or what?
****2: No
Pro: THEN WRITE IT IN TEAMSPEAK
****2: "(ct)k ok"
Pro: Idiot
So I'll count until 3 and then we'll rush the backside.
One, two...
[Door opens]
Shit
AAAAH
****1: (negative)
****1: (enemy down)
(Terrorists win)
(locked mode)
Pro: Oh dude
Stop staring at me and buy a weapon.
We'll go over the roof now.
****s: (roger that)
(music)
(shooting sound)
Pro: So that is the degrassing duct.
We'll get in now and get the terrors from the backside.
Say what are you waiting for?
Get in there. Hopp hopp.
[Slowmotion scene]
CUT. Get in there now. Another thing like that and i will punch your head off.
Ouch. Can't you wait until i have gone further away?
So guys in here we have to be very fast.
The buyking in front of me walks up the duct now and we two go straight ahead.
Let's go
(coughing)
I said you should walk up the duct.
****2: "(ct):sorry- not possible"
Pro: How? Not possible?
****2: "(ct) it is not possible!"
Pro: And why is it not possible then?
****2: "(ct): because there is sitting someone already!!!!!!"
Pro: BECAUSE THERE IS WHAT?...
AAAAH
(shooting scene)
SHIT
THEY ARE HERE
THEY HAVE ARRIVED TO GET US
****1: Hm? Who will come now?
Pro: THE TERRORISTS
AAAAH
NOW SHOOT YOU IDIOT
****1: I can't you are in my way
AAAAH
(Terrorists win.)
****1: (Team fall back.)
Pro: Shut up.
(locked mode)
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
YOU NEWBIES
You are not even newbies. Newbies is a compliment.
Listen we'll get in at the frontside now.
ALL AND I MEAN ALL buy smoke grenades.
One of you has to buy a shield.
Why? Why did i know that that would happen now? Why?
Are you ready?
****s: (affirmative)
Pro: When i see one here who walks without the knife i will bite him his balls off.
****s: (roger that. you take the point.)
[pizza hut music]
Pro: What's that? CUT THAT IS COUNTERSTRIKE AND NO KINDERGARDEN
****1: (laughing lol)
Pro: SHUT UP
[shooting sound]
Oh dude I AM SO ANGRY SO ANGRY
So pay attention. That is the main entrance.
Before we'll simply run in there and let us shoot down senselessly I'll please you to throw your smoke grenades over there.
When the will have exploded we will walk in with the cover of the smoke and get them from below.
Did you all get it now?
****2: (roger that.)
****1: (affirmative.)
Pro: Then let's go.
(fire in the hole. fire in the hole.)
Calm down. Calm down.
Guys I AM SO ANGRY SO ANGRY.
DO YOUR THINGS ALONE.
GET IN THERE NOW.
Huh? Who is shooting there?
(enemy spotted)
THEY ARE COMING. FIRE
(roger that)
****1: I don't see anything.
(need backup)
Pro: Simply shoot.
(enemy spotted)
RETREAT
****1: Where to go?
Pro: Only go away with your shield there.
You are blocking me.
Go away there.
****1: Oh I have a grenade left.
Pro: You have what?
Shit.
(fire in the hole)
****1: Oops.
AAAAAH
(Terrorists win)
Pro: You dawn-and-outs.
(locked mode)
Schnooks. Idiots.
Do you know what?
You can lick my a**.
(music)

[****1 with sniper gun kills ****2]
****1: Sorry
(music)
[****1 snipes Pro]
****1: Oops.
AAAAAAH.
(Terrorists win)
(locked mode)
AAAAAH
[pro shoots down the ****s]
Pro: That was it worth to me.
(shooting sound)